Spooktober reviews – Suspiria (2018)

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I cannot even begin to fathom what the fuck I just watched. Maybe it was because I took an all-nighter and the drowsiness was starting to take effect on my conscious mind. It’s not a simple task to comprehend all the uncanny, otherworldly imagery you’ve glimpsed on the big screen when your eyelids start to flicker and your vision blurs. Continue reading “Spooktober reviews – Suspiria (2018)”

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The Meg review – we all live in a yellow submarine!

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The ocean is a wondrous place, is it not? But alongside that, comes a fleeting feeling of fear. The fear of the unknown is a common sentiment people have regarding the big blue sea; in fact, it’s been noted somewhere that over 80% of the world’s oceans have been left unexplored. Various features that trigger our hydrophobia tend to include: nasty looking fishes, whales, rapey dolphins, the notion of being trapped in a cavern for hours on end, Cthulu, and of course, sharks. And its kind of obvious why we’d be wary of these pointy finned, sharp toothed beasts, considering how tenacious they become when their prey is in their sights. If you’ve found yourself surrounding by these fellas and you’re not a professional swimmer of some sorts, then you’ve signed your death warrant. There’s a reason why Jaws is such an iconic movie to this day; it serves as a reminder for how dangerous the open waters are. Continue reading “The Meg review – we all live in a yellow submarine!”

Christopher Robin review – This ain’t Winnie the Pooh anymore

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We’ve sinned, and this has been the result. I swear, this is truly the antichrist, and he has come to kickstart judgement day. We haven’t repented enough! We’re screwed! Oh, tis a dark time we live in. But alas, it is to be expected. Honestly, it’s so dark that my wrists have appeared to have slit itself. Anyways, before I pass out from extreme blood loss (seriously its flowing from my arm like a waterfall), I must preach to you all about a sinister force within our wake. Continue reading “Christopher Robin review – This ain’t Winnie the Pooh anymore”