A guide to pulling off the perfect all-nighter!

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Actually, don’t follow this advice; all-nighters are bad for you, m’kay. Sleep is an essential component of our daily lives after all.

As I’m typing this blog post out to you, my attentive readers, I find myself constantly glancing stressfully at the clock on the bottom right hand corner of my screen. I’m breaking apart mentally from inside out; my eyes are watering like mad and my mind is persistently trying to pick out ways to keep my weary body from shutting down. Anyways, on to the topic of all-nights. We’ve all been there at one point in life, haven’t we? Remember that one dreadful day when you have an assignment due in 24 hours and you haven’t written the first sentence yet? Or what about that time when you had to attend an early morning shift at 5am and you spent the whole night partying with your best mates? Been there, done that. Now, I’m here to tell you how you can pull it off successfully, so you don’t miss your shift or the deadline for that one assignment you foolishly left to the very last minute. And I’m telling you all this while I’m pulling an all-nighter because I loathe myself and am waiting to die (sorry for the negativity, but breakups and being directionless in life do that to you).


Stay Energized

What’s that? You’re feeling sleepy? Better shut off that boring soap opera and find ways to keep yourself awake then! Can’t have you screwing up your sleep schedule any further. Everyone has their own method of giving themselves a temporary dose of insomnia. There’s tea, chocolate, cheesy 80s slasher movies, a high-octane video game, move about and so on. My preferred method involves me drinking a cup of the finest roast coffee you can find (seriously, just because I’ve got British blood in me, doesn’t mean I drink tea in the mornings) while playing a match of Dota 2 against some furious squeakers. Just whatever you do, don’t do drugs kids.

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Stay Healthy

Now, just because you stayed up all night, doesn’t exempt you from getting your daily intake of nutrients and exercise. For the latter, I highly recommend taking it a bit easy for the day. Maybe take a lengthy run around the neighborhood and soak in that fresh, morning air. It’s an activity that I find always gets me pumped up, even if it’s in short bursts. Have your usual healthy meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but maybe supplement the last period with an energizing drink of some sorts.

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Stay Entertained

This kind of falls under the first category, but the terms “entertained” and “energized” aren’t always synonymous with one another. Sure, you can keep yourself awake with whatever methods you take advantage of, but if you’re consistently bored throughout the day, then you’re going to start snoring soon. You need to find something to do to keep your mind and body occupied. Video games, movies, anime, masturbation… just think of a hobby that you massively enjoy, and you’d be able to survive through those all-nighters. If you’re an avid gamer such as I, pull up Steam and blast some zombie heads off with a shotgun to raise your dopamine levels. Granted, this is mostly during the daytime after you’re done with your assignments (assuming you’re not working). If you’re just thinking of getting through writing that assignment, then feel free to pop on a pair of headphones and crank up the volume. Just, whatever you do, don’t listen to a narrator count sheep with that droning voice of his.

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So, if you’re ever in need to having to pull an all-nighter and want to achieve that without failing or sabotaging your sleep schedule in the future, these are what I’d recommend.

But, for realsies now. Don’t try to pull this off often. All-nighters aren’t good for you. Trust me, I’ve been there before. I can count the number of times I’ve hallucinated in public, seeing things that look eerily like spirits drifting in and out of the bushes on my way to class. I felt tired, I couldn’t focus well, my appetite was in shambles and I became less social towards people. Its perfectly understandable why people would do this, especially if its to do with course assignments, final papers and other blunders that you got to cope with at university. But honestly, with enough preparation, you’d actually end up avoiding all-nighters in general. Work on your assignments a couple of days before the due date, not at the very last minute.

So, why am I typing all this you ask? I don’t know, I’ve run out of ideas due to my lack of sleep and now have a paycheck I need to collect.

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